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Q: How do you know whether you're
married to a Booklander?
A:
To see whether
your
spouse might be a Booklander, ask yourself
what you think their take is on these concepts.
|
| Concept |
Booklander's
Take |
Outlander's
Take |
Self
Sufficiency |
Know how to do
things. |
Make enough
money so you can hire people to
do things for you. |
| Money |
Money is like
that excellent fertilizer,
the stuff that just makes everything grow. It's smelly and dirty, so
you don't want too much of
it lying around. Just have enough to meet your anticipated needs. |
I
may go to church or temple but my god is Mammon. I
don't care if he smells, I need him and I worship him. |
| Control |
The more self
sufficient I am, the more I
can teach my kids how to have some
control over their destiny. Of course you can never really be in
complete control. That's life, get over it. |
I don't like
to talk about control, I just need to have
it. Especially over those who are close to me. Marriage is war, get
over it. |
| Unconditional
Love |
It's the only
kind. |
Use
"unconditional love" as a reward when your spouse does things your way. |
| Judgment |
"Judge not,
lest ye be judged." |
There's no
better way to
keep
your spouse under control, and thus be victorious in your marriage,
than by constantly judging. The
aquittals must be few and insignificant compared to steady stream of
condemnations, which must always be severe no matter how minor the
infraction. Remember that there's no jury; the audience is just
yourself and the accused. Thus the more outrageous the accusation the
more you will provoke your spouse to do something that genuinely
discredits himself/herself, scoring yet another point for yourself. |
| Fights |
Fight fair.
Own your failings. |
They don't
call me Queenš of Denial for nothing.
šor
King
|
| Smiles |
You owe smiles
to people you care about.
They owe you smiles. Smiles are not to be bartered or withheld for a
better deal. |
Smiles are
powerful, especially with
people close to you. So know what you're getting in return
before you go giving out a smile. Withholding smiles skillfully from
your spouse will
get you an extra measure of control. |
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More
helpful thoughts on marriage:
Mark Twain advises:
"Keep away
from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people will always do
that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great."
(But
Mark, what if you're married
to a belittler of ambitions?)
"Great people
talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people
talk about wine."
-Fran Lebowitz
"...and kitchens."
CS
Do
you suppose Fran Lebowitz likes suburban dinner parties?
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